April 13, 2006

Xanga-Matt

14 Comments

I was at work the other day. One of the nice things about Target, doing the job I’m doing, is that it allows you, during those periods when you’re not being bothered by dumb customers, to disengage your mind and let it roam wherever it likes. Between bouts of serious thinking (future, finances, etc.), my mind came across this little nugget: “If your life was a musical, what kind of songs would you be singing?”

I was intrigued. I didn’t throw it right away back in the Black Thought Abyss, like I do with most of the other hojillion thoughts that my mind drops on my feet. “If your life’s a musical, what kind of songs would you be singing?” If you lived in the land of Sound of Music, Moulin Rouge, West Side Story, Grease, or even South Park. (Sorry, Chicago doesn’t count. Here, I’ll tell you why. It’s because all of the musical sequences take place in Roxie Hart’s mind, not out in the real world. All true musicals have songs that interrupt life in the real world.)

What kind of songs would you sing? What kind of dance sequences would you have? A solo where you pour your romantic laments out in the rain or maybe a duet in which you and your roommate sing about who’s turn is it to clean the dishes? Or how about being in a class and having the professor sing the lesson to you and all of the class joins in? I’ve always loved sequences that use props or furniture.

My setlist of this past year could look like this:
“Welcome, Welcome, Spring”
“Dumb People, Why Can’t You Find the Obvious Things?” (fast, angry song)
“I’m Engaged (And Lovin’ It)” (a Disney-like ballad)
“Ode to McDonald’s Cheap Cheeseburger Days” (think a slow song that builds, starting with a solo and then adding customers and then finally McDonald’s employees join in and it all climaxes outside a McDonald’s parking lot)
“Why Is Gas So Freakin’ Expensive?” (hip-hop song)
“I Love You So” (duet)
“Traffic Sucks (I Hate You, I-294)”
“Fa-Cee-Shus” (think one of My Fair Lady‘s enunciation songs)
“Go, White Sox, Go”
“Quarter Of a Century Old”

What kind of songs would you sing and what would they be about?

14 Responses

Archives