We're All Humans, Aren't We?

Celebrate the Holidays?

Well, we’re in the middle of the holiday season. The radio is blaring Christmas music, the mall parking lots are slowly filling up, and everyone’s gearing up for a great time, right? Well, not necessarily. As I’ve talked about in the past, holidays can be a tough time for a lot of people who are struggling with grief. Someone sent me this article by Marjorie Kooy who is a counselor for Chicago Christian Counseling Center. She also facilitates a grief support group. I thought it was well-written and had good ideas for those who are walking through grief this holiday season. May God hold you close to His heart this year. The article is titled “Celebrate the Holidays? Not This Year.”

“Special days are family oriented and the thought of celebrating the holidays when you’ve lost someone you love seems painful and unthinkable. It may seem that everyone around you is preparing for a happy time, but you’re certain that you will miss your loved one. Yet, on the other hand, you may find that times of togetherness may be acceptable and even a little comforting.

“I’d like to offer some ideas for not only coping with special family events, but ways to find strength and ‘remember well.

“Some practical ideas are these:

– Buy a beautiful Christmas candle and light it each day in December. Some say it is a daily reminder of their loved one and it seems to warm the house.

– Do your Christmas shopping by mail or during the early hours of the day. You may find that grief takes most of your energy this year. Enlist the help of others in wrapping gifts; keep it simple this year. Consider giving gifts of a picture of your loved one or a book he or she once loved.

– Determine to do a special thing for someone else this December.

– Consider a contribution to your favorite charity in your loved one’s name.

– Pamper yourself this month. Plan on taking time to cry.

“It’s okay not to have a good time. There may be nothing you want to do this year. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. It’s also okay to celebrate the holidays without feeling guilty. Often we think it is how much we grieve that signifies our love for the one who died. But the truth is that our love is not measured in such a way. The best gift we can give others and ourselves during the holidays and every day is to live our lives wholeheartedly.

“I encourage you to follow your heart. Take care of yourself during this time and may you find strength and comfort, knowing you are not alone during these times of family events and holidays.”

Have a great week and may God bless you this week!

– Matt